Seven

A mother tries to process the news as seven thousand lives are erased. And more as we watch.

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Every time I open social media (and I must do it at least 100 times a day), I see those images. A mother weeps as she says a prayer and kisses the face of her dead child, wrapped in white cloth. That child must be at most 5 years old when she last breathed.

I see the young girl scream and cry when she thought she saw her mother come in. She shrieks into the smoke and asks why she has been left alive, alone.

I see the video of a hospital ICU, multiple newborn babies in incubators, some just a few hours into life. As they run out of fuel and power, I wonder what those babies must think - all they could hear a few hours prior was the sound of blood flow and mom’s rapid heartbeat. Now - bombs. Cries. Beeps. Why, mom?

I cry, and my daughter asks me the same question. Why, mom?

Sometimes, I turn away from my phone. Sometimes, I share the news. Then another mom reaches out and says - I can’t watch this.

I know, I say. I’m weeping as we share these texts. Same, she says.

And yet, as I look up from my phone, I see my daughter dancing in the living room. We live in a safer place, I realise, with relief and gratitude along with tremendous guilt, all at once. Their children are my children. And yet, mine dances here.

I feel helpless. I wish I had the power to stop this.

My daughter brings me a book called The Lion Inside and says, read. There was once a mouse who wished he could roar like a lion because that’s how he would be powerful. He sets out to request the lion to teach him how to roar, fearing constantly that he might be eaten alive.

And when he finally does make his way up to the lion’s den, he trembles and wakes the giant, most surprised to learn that it’s the lion who is afraid of him. Turns out, the mouse contained a lion inside.

So, watch those videos of the wailing mothers. Weep with them. Face your worst fears the only way you can right now. Then take a break. Hug your children a little tighter. Laugh with them for just a minute. Then come back. ROAR.